inialurun
saya xtahu apa yang dh terjadi pada saya..
tp seseorang yang saya kenal bagi saya lagu ni..



Life is full of lots of up and downs,
And the distance feels further when you're headed for the ground,
And there is nothing more painful than to let you're feelings take
you down,
It's so hard to know the way you feel inside,
When there's many thoughts and feelings that you hide,
But you might feel better if you let me walk with you
by your side,

And when you need a shoulder to cry on,
When you need a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
You won't be alone, cause I'll be there,
I'll be your shoulder to cry on,
I'll be there,
I'll be a friend to rely on,
When the whole world is gone,
you won't be alone, cause I'll be there.

All of the times when everything is wrong
And you're feeling like
There's no use going on
You can't give it up
I hope you work it out and carry on
Side by side,
With you till the end
I'll always be the one to firmly hold your hand
no matter what is said or done
our love will always continue on

Everyone needs a shoulder to cry on
everyone needs a friend to rely on
When the whole world is gone
you won't be alone cause I'll be there
I'll be your shoulder to cry on
I'll be there
I'll be the one you rely on
when the whole world's gone
you won't be alone
cause I'll be there!

And when the whole world is gone
You'll always have my shoulder to cry on....




he give me all support n advise..
jd utk kwn2 yang lain..lagu ni ditujukan utk anda..
alangkah seronoknya klu His faham lagu ni..huhu
inialurun
selasa aritu (20/10/09) tarikh yg betul2 unlucky..huhu

saya, diminta utk tolong sorg staff kat ofis( staff tu g kursus) kendalikan all the aktiviti SPA utk pegawai2, key in maklumat tu, cop the letter and call pegawai tu utk informkan diorgnye aktiviti terdekat..huhu,

tapi malangnya that day is..pc smlm yg saya guna jd xleh on..mslah window corrupt, ni sume gara2 semalam (isnin) saya matikan suis power supply dia before shut down complete..i quest..huhu
jadi x tentu arah lah jgk, sbb mmg bnyk data dlm that pc..saya inform kat staff tu apa yg dh terjadi, then he ask me what to do, mintk bntuan technician, i go to ict office, tp lambat pulak..

dhlah surat bnyk nk kena key in..jd moody giler2..mulut dh muncung sedepa..xleh senyum ni..sbb rasa berslh sangat2..nk cry tau..tu jelah yg saya reti buat..huhu..
sabar2..

saya taip balik all letter tu dlm my laptop..buat je keje cm biase..bg KS surat utk sain, then fotostat letter tu, bg kat pegawai terlibat, otak jd blank tetibe..takut salah..
then recheck balik..

sampailah semlm (rabu), bru technician tu dtg tgk..for sure mmg window tu corrupt, xleh buat backup c, c xleh open langsung, then pak cik (abg ijan org ofis panggil) dia kata kena convert msuk pc lain. dh ckp kat dia, leh x buat arini gak? dia kata xleh siap coz bnyk pc rosak tgh queue, aduss!! matilah..

then i call staff tu, bgtau ape yg dh terjdi, dia kata xpe as long as leh buat backup, he might be fired tau kalau data n file dlm tu hilang..huhu..salah saya..
rasa berslah dh menebal..hati dh sebak..jgnlah aku nangis..huhu

then alhamdulillah petang tu sempat saya siapkan kerja yang disuruh..dh lega sikit kepala hotak ni
huhu

pagi td (arini), pg2 lagi dtg keje terus g ofis, jumpa staff tu, say sorry giler2, terangkan apa yg saya dh buat..sume2 lah..tp mintk dia recheck balik, takutlah terlepas pandang..huhu

pengajaran yang saya benar2 dapat..

once seseorg tu believe u utk buat kerja yang diamanahkan..jgnlah rosakkan kepercayaan itu..coz after that susah dia nk percaya lagi, dn mungkin awk akan kehilangan org tu serta sifat amanah yang diberikan..

susah nk pikul tanggung jwb..huhu
inialurun
setiap org, hamba-Nya, dikurniakan hati dan perasaan..saya bukanlah terlalu pakar dalam hal hati dan perasaan, saya juga bukanlah terlalu pandai berkata2..ilmu saya sentiasa x cukup..

tapi..
cukuplah kalau hati dan perasaan ini dihormati, dijaga, bukan untuk dipermainkan dan diperlekehkan..

saya..
dh x thn lagi..

saya..
xakan buat perkara tu..saya tipu je..

huhuhuhuhu
inialurun

abah..
if 1 day, i'm not being here..staying with u..
i hope u will forgive me what have i done to u, hurting u..

don't forget me...

semalam, masa amik abah keluar wad, tunggu abngah selesaikan bil, then sit dgn akak n abah..
"nasrul tau x psl abah?"abah tnya. abah x bagitau nasrul (my little brother) psl dia masuk wad, then saya ckp "abah x bg telefon dia kan?" "tapi akak dh telefon semalam dia n bgtau nasrul pasal abah".
"dia cakap ape?" tnya abah..
"dia marah sbb x bgtau..dia nak tgk abah, tapi akak dh terangkan keadaan sebenarnya", kata akak..
abah senyum..

but i look inside his eyes...huhu..
ada takungan air..jernih..yang ditahan2..

lama..kemudian abah pejam mata dia, seolah2 mcm de sumting dlm mata,.dia pegang mata dia, tahu dia lap air mata..abah..huhu..

this is kali kedua i see his tears..

1st time,
when nasrul kt HSA, dlm wad pembedahan utk buang buah pinggang, waiting for him..saya sit beside abah, but i see it..the tears..pertama kali melihat air mata seorang abah..

i don't know how much i love u..
i don't know how much i hate u..
i don't know how much i can repay u for take care of me until now..
i don't know how much i need u..
i don't know if i can live without u..

abah..
rasa mcm nak amik sakit abah tu..
biar saya yang tanggung..

ya Allah, sembuhkan lah abah dari segala penyakit yang dihadapinya, berikanlah dia hidayah-Mu, jadikanlah dia hamba yang soleh disisi-Mu ya allah, sementara hayatnya masih ada..amin ya rabbal alamin..

amin..


abah..ain akan sentiasa doa utk abah..amin..
inialurun
alhamdulillah abah dah selamat simen kaki..
dia pun dh dibenarkan balik..

semoga yang baik2 akan datang pada kami...aminn
inialurun


I miss my silent heart,
that focuses, deep in thought
that tells me the truth
when others lie
that shows me the proof
when others deny
that guides me and protects me
prevents me from wrong


that tells me and convinces me
that I’m fine the way I’m

I miss my silent heart
coz it has been very noisy
since it stepped into the real world
which is awfully, very busy

now it talks about things
unimportant, simple and easy,
to release me from tense
or feeling unhappy…

it thinks about life
short-termed with too much 'love'
so that I’ll dream
yet I’m all awake ..

it shows me wonders,
glittering splendours ...
it shows me colours,
worldly flavours ...

it shows me things,
too many of them ...
which I do not comprehend,
which I do not understand ...

it tells me very 'important' questions,
yet gives indefinite answers ...
it makes me perceive,
things I do not believe ...

it tells me to be 'me',
which is not what I am ...
it makes me 'me',
when my heart is noisy ...
'cheerful' and 'too happy',
'mischievous',
'adventurous' and 'lively' …

when I am forgetful indeed,
forgetting, not taking heed ...
of what Allah commands in the Qur'an,
of what the Prophet preached,
things, that I should always bear in mind ...

I miss my silent heart,
now I worry about things
that I should not …

I miss my silent heart,
the Qur'an,
the dzikr,
the peaceful surrounding,
and my silent heart ...

I miss my silent heart

Allahumma ...
I seek YOUR forgiveness
I seek YOUR guidance of truth
I seek YOUR true love and bliss
show me YOUR way of peace

light and guide my life,
protect me from falling again
into the busy world ...
that speaks of the unreal,
that speaks of the untruth,
yet very, very appealing ..

coz it made my heart noisy,
and it made me lose 'me' ...
and I love my silent heart,
I can't stand being far apart ...
and miss my silent heart!

allahummaghfirli zunubii
allahumma tohhir qalbi
allahumma ab'idni min makriddunya
wa ma minha minasy syarri...

allahumma la taj'al fi qalbi,
hubban min gheyri hubbik ...
fala ana illa 'abdik,
wa ma ana bisyai-in illa bimardhatik,
faghfirli, warhamni ...

allahumma tohhir qalbi ….
lets say a PROPER GOODBYE and we will forget each other's existences.
inialurun
khamis..lepas dh nk dkt maghrib..tunggu buka puasa..then adik msg, "uda, abah masuk hospital"
teus call dia, adik ckp abah jtuh motr kaki dia retak..

pastu abangah call, confirmkan keadaan, bgtau kakak, n dibenarkan balik awal jumaat tu..

rupa2nya abah jth mtr langgar lubang, dia ingt lubang tu kosong..rupanya ada air..n kebetulan mtr abah naik tu berat. tindih kaki dia..tangan abah pun luka..belah kanan..mcm luka terseret pun ada..kesian abah..

ptg tu g tgk abah..
ni la keadaan kaki abah..



memula tgk tu..rasa sebak jgk..emm lepas ni dh rasa mcm pth kaki sebelah dh..klu abah ada, sume abah buat..ni abah dh sakit..everything kena survive..huhu..ya Allah, panjangkanlah umur abah n sembuhkanlah dia dr penyakitnya secepat mungkin..aminn..

tp abah..rokok ajeeee..hehe dh sakit2 pun ..rokok..hahaha..
abah..abah.. tp tu lah abah saya..selagi ada nyawa n kemampuan, saya akan jaga abah..sampai bile2..

sayang abah..
inialurun
dua ari lepas..before tidur, tgh landing2..tetibe kwn dtg..dia baring sebelah, then dia ckp..
"aini kejap..dgr ni"..

Cuba kau dengar
Cuba kau cuba
Diam bila ku cuba
Untuk berbicara dengan kamu

Pernahkah kau andai
Bila ku perlu
Tuk meluahkan rasa hati

Dan bila kau bersuara
Setia ku mendengar
Agar tenangkan merasa

Siapa sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang mendapatkan aku
Itulah aku
Pada mu

Cuba kau lihat
Cuba kau cuba
Renung ke mata aku
Bila ku kaku melihat mu
Pernahkan kau ada
Bila ku perlu tuk menyatakan
Rasa sakit dalam diri

Dan bila kau perlu
Setia ku menunggu
Agar senang kau merasa

Siapa sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang mendapatkan aku
Itulah aku

Maafkan kerana ku tak pernah
Terlintas tuk menulis padamu
Salahkan ku
Tak mungkin lagi aku meminta
Untuk kau mendengar..
Untuk kau melihat ke mata ku..

Siapa sebenarnya aku padamu
Mungkin sama dengan teman lain
Yang bisa kau buat begitu
Dan bila tiada lagi teman bermain
Kau pulang mendapatkan aku
Itulah aku
Padamu

betul

walaupun hanya lirik..kadang2 ia berlaku pada kehidupan kita..x kiralah lelaki atau perempuan..selagi ada perasaan..hormatilah perasaan tu..janganlah dipermain2kan..kena ingat one day benda tu akan jadi balik kat kiter..

kawan?

antara gurl n boy, ttp ada batas..kenalilah batas tu..


biar org lain xkan kecewa..x salah..